mga pagsisisi

damn!!!
kng sa writer ata ngkaroon...
nagkaroon n ata ako ng writer's block...
wlang lumalabas sa isipan ko...
as in blanko!!!
blanko lahat...
d ako mkapag-isip ng maaus...
dhil sa mga tao jan na walang kwenta...
walang ginawa kng hindi magbigay ng pasakit skin!!!
npakadami na ng ginawa mong hindi maganda skin...
my araw k din...
sa loob ng limang taon na pagkakila2 ko sau...
pinagsisisihan ko ang unang araw na kinausap kita...
pinagsisisihan ko na niya2 ktang sumayaw...
pinagsisisihan ko na dinamayan kita sa problema mo na sa sarili mo na sinasabi mo skin...
pinagsisisihan ko na naging malapit ang loob ko sau...
pinagsisisihan ko na naging bestfriend kita...
pinagsisisihan ko na minahal kita...
pinagsisisihan ko na niligawan kita...
pinagsisisihan ko na naging tayo...
pero ang pinagsisisihan ko sa lahat napabayaan kita nung skin ka pa...
sana hindi naging gnito kung hindi nlng tau nagkakilala...
hindi sna kita npabayaan...
hindi m sna ako iniwan...
ngaun may mahal k ng iba...
pinagsisisihan kong nabuhay pa ako...
sana sa ibang panahon o lugar nlng ako nabuhay...
hindi sana ganun...
hindi sana ganito...

hell

I hate losing someone...
it feels like losing a part of me...
I don't know if I can have it back again or not...
all I know is I can only sit and watch the stars at night...
waiting for something to happen...
even though I know that my life had plunged from heaven down to hell...
I'm still seaching for myself...
still waiting...
still asking what the hell went wrong...
then I forgot that I'm in hell...
asking what the hell went wrong...
so now that I'm being burned alive in hell...
I hoped your satisfied now...
that you are all the reasons of all my sufferings...
I'll see y'all in hell

hatred

I want to be six feet under...
so no one would ever wonder...
why i wanted to be in that cold place...
no light, just darkness...

down there no one would say anything bad to me...
nor do anything bad to me...
my broken heart would be buried along with my memories of you...
sooner then you would forget my face along with my name...

I will see whenever i wanted to...
but you will never see me...
you would never hear a word from me...
cause i'm as thin as air...

and if ever you would go to my resting place...
I don't want you to cry...
for tears would do nothing...
it's just a waste...

waste...
i'm such a waste...
I watn to die this very minute...
right where I'm sitting...

I have wasted a lot of my time on you...
thinking you're the person I'm going to spend my life with...
we had them all planned...
but left me all alone...

now how can i go on...
if nothing is left of me...

quotable quotes...

why am I falling for someone I can't be with...
why do I get over heels for someone who is impossible to be mine...
am I destined to be hurt...
or am I just a fool who fantasy sombody out of my reach???


It's hard to smile to show I'm not hurt...
to giggle...
to pretend I'm okay...
it's hard to laugh after I have cried...
what is worst is...
I'm still inlove even after u have said "Goodbye"


it's quite ironic that in life,
the person that brings out the best in you and the one that makes you strong is actually your weakness...

bout my haircut

remember what I said about telling you what would my friends say when they see me with my new haircut???
damn!!!
i got so many reactions that I think I wouldn't have eniugh time to tell you all...
so that's why I would juct be telling you some of it...
some said this "OMG! why did you cut your hair?! what came to your mind?! why did you do that?! such a waste!
this are just some...

sickness

yesterday I woke up not feeling very well...
up until now...
I'm still now feeling very well...
my sickness is taking it's toll on me...
I have spouted blood too many times yesterday...
I think it's been too long that I have been keeping it a secret...
I feel like I'm dying...
And I don't want to just sit here and die!!!
and another one is that my emotional depression is also making my sickness worse...
wish I had a medicine that could make my feeling much more better...
if you guys could just only see me...
I couldn't barely stand up!!!

hang-over

God!!!
I'm still feeling drunk...
I wanted to drink myself to death last night...
I really wanted to kill someone...
good thing I got a hold of myself...
I don't what could might have happened last night...
I'm not this type of guy who would approach someone and wanted to kick his ass...
I'm not even a bully...
who always picks fights...
I wanted to go back to the day when i was i kid...
no problems...
no worries...
and...
no broken heart...

the devil's cry

Can angels really make devils weep...
you know what???
I don't believe in before...
but now...I think I believe in that...
so that's why as much as I can...
I'd like to stay as a secret,
like walking in the dark,
if no one knows me,
no one cares then that would be fine,
at least, no one can break my heart...

haircut

omg!!!
after almost 7 months...
i got my hair trimmed!!!
this my first haircut for this year...
i wished i have somenone accompanied me while a was having my haircut...
but sadly...
i was with myself...
i decided to have a long hair last year when you-know-who-she-is left philippines...
so now she is here...
and saw me yesterday and recognized me...
i now decided to have my haircut...
so it would take her a hard time to recognize me the next time she'll see me...
but you know what???
i before i took my haircut...
i asked her to come with me...
after all...
she was the reason i had o long hair...
but sadly again...
she didn't come...
so that's how the stor goes...
maybe if my friends see with hair right now...
they'll be shocked...
but let's see what they're reaction would be...
i'll tell you on my next post...

walang maipost

sa mga oras n toh...
dko alam kng kng excited b ako or kabado...
mga ilang oras nlng...
and2 n ang antagonist...
you-know-who-she-is...
hindi ko alam kng ano b ang magiging reaction ko kpag ngkita n kme...
ngda2lawang isip p nga ako kng mgpakita b ako o hindi...
hindi matahimik kalooban ko ngaun...
parang ngaun...
hindi ko alam kng anu ang ititipa ko s keyboard n hawak ko ngaun...
pro pinipilit ko p rin ptakbuhin utak ko pra mdjo mgkaroon nman ng laman itong blog ko...
boring nman cguro kung mga walang kwentang mga salita lng ang mabasa nyo d2...
hindi nyo mki2ta kng ano ang laman utak ko...
kya pinipilit ko n i-express ang sarili ko pra mas lalo niyo maunawaan...
prang sa mga libro...
kpag binabasa ntin...
damang dama ntin ang nila2man ng utak ng writer dahil sa mga salitang nka-imprenta...
pro kng hindi ntin uunawain ang nila2man ng utak ng writer...
2lad nga ng sabi ng isang writer...
pra k lng humawak ng papel na may tinta...
wlang sense...
sayang nman ang mga puno ng gnawang papel hindi b???
kya sana maging mahaba pasensya niyo skin n basahin ang mga life-story ko...
nagsi2mula plng kc ako mgsulat eh...
gnagawa ko tong blogging bilang stepping stone ko bago maging isang magaling na writer...
ayan!!!
hindi ko namalayan...
umiral n pagiging mdaldal ko!!!
ang dami ko n pala naitype...
at ang dami n rin message sa Yahoo! messenger ko...
dami ka-chat eh...
hahaha!!!
ingat kau!!!
sa su2nod n post ulet

#@&>!

s tingin nyu b nagmura ako sa title ng post ng toh...
pra s morality sa2bihin ko na hindi...
gnyan lng tlga nra2mdam ko ngaun...
hindi ko alam kng ano b tlga...
hindi maidefine...
gets???
by the way...
wla p pla akong topic...
eto n pra may topic...
alam nyu b after almost six months...
nagsimba ako last sunday...
it was june 3, 2007
weeeeee!!!
s tingin nyu b...
return of the comeback ko n toh???
balik buhay na kaya ako???
abangan nlng ntin sa su2nod na kabanata...

1st of the month

hingang malamin...1st of the month...
grabe...
gnito p rin ang lagay ko...
prang wlang pa22nguhan ang takbo ng buhay ko...
kya nga ako ntagalan bago mag post ulet...
dahil sa dami ng iniicp kng panu ko mairerevert ang buhay ko...
sa dami ng iniicp ko 2lad ng...
klangan ko ng bagong trabaho...
klangan ko magtago next wik...dhil sa pagdating ng isang antagonist...
klangan ko muna aucn ang mga dpat ko aucn pra mkpag-icp nko ng maaus...
ibang level na tong pinagdadaanan ko...
prang class "S" na kumpara sa ghost fighter...
pro hindi ako nwa2lan ng pag-asa dhil alam ko...
anjan ang pulis pangkalawakan na si shaider...
at tu2lungan nya ako...